I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
