UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
