How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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