can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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