i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
