Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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