they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
