Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
