it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
bring money and cleavage
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
