Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
