So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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