that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
