just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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