if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
