dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
