I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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