is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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