i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
