It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
