absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
