The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
