There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
