Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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