I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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