her vagine was all disorganized.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I could make wine with my vomit
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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