so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
