my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
