i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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