i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
