You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
