I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
