Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
