My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
