dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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