Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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