We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
