As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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