bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
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