The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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