I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I believe in your delicious
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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