Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Randomize
