We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
