I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
