apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
