Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
