First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
