whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
