fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
