THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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