Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
