and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
